Inspired

I used to write poetry. It started in 6th grade. Until now I couldn’t remember why I started. Rather, I hadn’t asked myself that question for a long time. I remember now.

I wrote a lot of poetry. I even got up on a few open mics and spoke some of my poetry. But then I stopped. There are so many excuses for stopping. None of them any good. But I have been inspired.

The beauty of this inspiration is in the randomness of it. I didn’t look for it. I shouldn’t even be here to see it now. I’m supposed to be at the emergency room with my 5 year old but at the last second she said, “Daddy, I really want Mommy to take me.” So I sit here at the computer doing nothing in particular and this falls into my lap. Like Sarah Kay says in her talk, I must have had my arms open instead of up in front of me because I was able to catch the beauty that fell out of the sky into my arms.
I have been inspired before. Truth be told, I’m easy to inspire. I don’t always do much with it. We’ll see.

Poetry has so much baggage for me. It was a way to feel special when I was young. It was a way to lash out when I was a teenager. A way to express emotion in high school and college. I thought I was good at it. I received just enough praise to think I didn’t have to try that hard. But rarely ever did I receive critique. So many people believe that they can’t do it and are scared of it that when I shared with them they just told me it was great. I only shared with those people. Until the one time that I didn’t. And that time I over-shared. I over-shared with someone I respected so much as an artist (and also had a huge crush on) that when she didn’t respond with praise or critique, when she just never said anything about it and moved out of the state, I thought the very worst. I’ve been quiet since.

But I am inspired by this 20-something woman that I randomly stumbled on. I may not be a 14 year old in a hoody but it spoke to me.
Thank you for the inspiration. Let’s see what I do with it.

9/2/2013